


The F Word

by turntechGeneticist717



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Adoption, Canon Compliant, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Foster Care, Guardian Andrew, M/M, Neil and Andrew's relationship is put to the test, Post canon, facing the worst parts of yourself, guardian Neil, mentions of child abuse, parenting is hard, questionable parenting, slight mentions of homophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-06-04 23:17:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15157577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turntechGeneticist717/pseuds/turntechGeneticist717
Summary: Neil is in his third year at Palmetto State and things couldn't be better. Then a call from FBI Agent Browning completely upends his life and he's forced to make some difficult choices.(or the one where Neil finds out he has a half sister and must decide if he's going to become her guardian or let her enter foster care.)





	1. Chapter 1

Neil’s life wasn’t perfect, but he couldn’t think of one thing he would change about it either. He was in his third year of college and since Dan had graduated last year he was now captain of the Palmetto State Foxes. There were still issues within the team, as there probably always would be, considering the varying backgrounds all the new recruits came from, but Neil, for the most part, didn’t mind the challenges that presented. He missed having all of his original teammates with him, but he was grateful for the ones he still had by his side.

His relationship with Andrew was stronger than ever. They had built such a solid foundation together that Neil never had to second guess his importance in Andrew’s life. He had once been drawn to Andrew because he had been an unmovable force that could shoulder all of Neil’s problems but slowly they had become a united pillar of strength who equally supported and held each other up. Andrew was an unfaltering constant in his life and Neil did everything he could to ensure that he was the same for Andrew.

Between Exy, Andrew, school and maintaining his relationship with his teammates, new and old, Neil rarely had a chance to slow down but he liked the fast pace. He liked keeping his body, as well as his mind, in an ever moving state because it kept his thoughts from drifting to his past and slowly Neil’s bad memories were being replaced by better ones.

It was midway thru March and Neil’s focus was on the upcoming game against Breckenridge. It was the last game before the championships and it would be the deciding factor on whether the Foxes would make it to the top three. Neil, Kevin and Andrew had been pushing themselves day and night to be ready to face them and Neil’s mind was a million miles away from thoughts of his father and the Moryiama family. So, needless to say, he was caught completely off guard one afternoon before practice when he received a phone call from Agent Browning, one of the FBI agents who was involved in the whole scandal back in Baltimore.

“Hello?” he said answering the unknown number.

“Nathaniel? It’s Agent Browning. I assume you remember me?”

“Yes. I remember, and my name is Neil. I assume you remember me?”

“How could I forget? You’ve still got an attitude problem I see.”

“Sure do. Is there a reason you’re calling me or is this just some bullshit check-up to make sure I’m staying in line? I have a practice to get to.”

“Actually,” Browning responded, clearing his throat, “there is a reason for the call. A pretty important one I think.”

“Okay?” Neil prompted when Browning fell silent. Browning took another few moments to respond and when he did it was the absolute last thing Neil was expecting to hear.

“Your father had another child, a girl. She’s been living with her grandmother but she, the grandmother, recently passed away and you’re the girl’s only living relative. Considering the situation, we thought we’d contact you first.”

Neil gripped his phone in stunned silence for a moment before he was able to form a coherent response. “My mother would have told me if she had another kid. She wouldn’t have left her behind.”

Agent Browning let out a loud sigh and Neil could picture him rolling his eyes. “Your mother wasn’t _her_ mother. Her mother was someone from your father’s inner circle. She was killed in the aftermath of your father’s death, but your sister was living with her grandmother long before that.”

“My sister?” Neil practically whispered into the phone.

“Yes. Sister. Well, half sister but still.”

“Okay….and why are you calling me?” Neil asked, not able to process everything that was being laid on him.

“Because,” Browning replied, the exasperation in his voice crystal clear. “You’re her last living relative. That means you have the option of taking custody of her.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then she’ll become a ward of the state and will be placed in foster care.”

Neil fell quiet again, his mind racing a mile a minute. A sister? Foster care? …… His father had another kid? A girl. Who apparently was all alone in the world now…... What. The. Fuck.

“Are you still there?” Browning asked when Neil failed to answer.

“Uh, yeah… I… How long do I have to make a decision about this?”

“Well she’s currently staying with a friend of her grandmother’s, but we’ve been informed it’s a very temporary situation. I’d say you have three days tops.”

“Okay.”

“I’m going to assume from your reaction you’ll need time to think about this then?”

“Yeah. I’ll…. I’ll get back to you within three days I guess?”

“I understand, although sooner would be better than later.” Neil didn’t respond so Browning kept speaking. “Did you have any questions about her?”

“Oh…. No… Not really, I mean… I don’t know.”

“How bout I send her file to you?” Browning asked, and Neil thought for a moment he sounded more sympathetic than annoyed.

“Yeah… Yeah that would be good.”

“Would email be okay or should I fax it?”

“Email,” Neil said immediately because a fax would mean getting Wymack or Abby involved and by no means was Neil ready to bring anyone else into this….. situation. Neil sputtered out his email and Browning let him know that he’d send it over to him by the end of the day.

“Okay,” Neil said, desperately wanting to end the call. “Was there anything else?”

“No but um, Natha—Neil?,” Browning said and hesitated for a moment before he continued. “I know I’m sending you her file but just in case you’re wondering her name’s Natalie and she’s seven years old. Just something to think about until my email gets to you.”

Neil didn’t, _couldn’t_ , say anything to that and when Browning realized that an answer wasn’t forthcoming he bid Neil goodbye and hung up the phone. Even after the line went dead Neil gripped the phone to his ear for several long moments, his knuckles white with tension.

_Natalie_. Of course she would have an iteration of his, _their_ , father’s name. Hearing her name had felt like a slap to the face. Neil didn’t even know where or how he was supposed to begin processing this and his thoughts bounced back and forth in a tumultuous whirlwind.

What did Browning expect of him? He barely had time to take care of himself let alone a _seven-year-old_ child. Chances were she wouldn’t want him as a guardian anyway, it’s not like they had known about each other. Or maybe she did know about him, Neil didn’t know. Point was, he barely had a second to spare, not to mention he sorely lacked any experience with children. Blood or not he was probably the _worst_ option to care for his sist--… the kid. She’d probably be better off with a foster family anyway.

Neil couldn’t stop his mind from jumping to Andrew and his time spent in foster care and he could feel the bile rise in his throat almost immediately. He forced it down and gulped in deep breaths of air. He was on the verge of a panic attack and he knew it. He had to mentally push his thoughts away so that he could calm down.

He glanced at the clock on his phone and he knew that Andrew would already be waiting on him so they could drive to practice. Neil sucked in several more deep breathes and shoved his phone and his shaking hands into his pockets. He did his best to wipe the panic from his face and headed toward the parking lot. He’d just deal with this after practice he told himself, and kept his thoughts solely on Exy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So wow, I was really excited to see how much interest there is in this fic already and just want to say _Thank you_ for all kudos, subscriptions and nice comments so far, that helps keep me super motivated with writing so I really appreciated it  <3  
> I'm pretty hyped to write this fic so updates should be pretty consistent =)

Browning’s phone call had made Neil a few minutes late to meet Andrew, so he jogged to make up for the lost time. As he approached the parking lot he saw that Andrew was in fact already waiting for him and he took a long drag from his cigarette as he watched Neil approach. Neil held his gaze as he came up to the car knowing no matter how well he hid his upset from everyone else Andrew would know instantly that something was wrong.

He came to a stop in front of him and brushed his fingertips along the back of Andrew’s hand in silent greeting. Andrew stared at him a few moments and Neil knew his lack of any spoken hello was Andrew’s way of giving him a chance to tell him what was bothering him. When no answer was forth coming, Andrew gave a small nod, flicked his cigarette away and gave Neil’s side a small push, his way of telling him to get in the car. He knew Neil would talk to him when he was ready.

Neil walked around the car as Andrew got in and Neil was grateful that conflicting schedules this semester meant the rest of their lot rode separately from them to practice. Nicky and Aaron, whose classes ended an hour after Andrew and Neil’s, caught a ride from Katelyn, and Coach Wymack would pick up Kevin, whose classes ended an hour earlier, so that Kevin could get in extra practice time.

Neil got in and did his seat belt while Andrew pulled out of the parking lot. As soon as they were on the road Andrew held his hand out in open invitation and Neil linked their hands together immediately, grateful for the distraction. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the headrest, focusing on the heat of Andrew’s hand and the grounding effect it had him.

Too quickly they reached the stadium but after Andrew got the car parked he made no move to get out and instead reached for Neil’s hand again. They sat there for a few minutes together, the air conditioning and soft music flowing around them. Andrew stared straight forward and Neil studied his profile, appreciating the way the light reflected off Andrew’s blonde locks and seemed to illuminate his hazel eyes.

“We should probably head in,” Neil said disrupting the silence. “Kevin’s going to be pissed if we’re late.”

“What else is new? Let him be mad. Practice technically doesn’t start for another hour anyway.”

Neil nodded and settled back against his seat, grateful for the extra time to get himself together and realign his thoughts to where he needed them to be. Andrew rubbed his thumb along Neil’s hand but otherwise kept quiet. When Katelyn’s car pulled next to theirs about an hour later, Neil leaned over and gave Andrew a quick kiss of thanks and they both exited the car.

Aaron and Nicky were both visibly surprised to see that they weren’t at practice already. Nicky waggled his eyebrows at them and made a crude comment about them getting a different form of ‘ _cardio_ ’ and Neil had to grab Andrew’s hand to keep him from going after his cousin. Nicky, realizing his mistake, hurried ahead of them to go inside and Neil, Andrew and Aaron followed after him.

After changing out they headed out to the field and Kevin, true to form, was pissed at their tardiness and let them know it immediately. Andrew and Neil both ignored him, more than used to his ranting, and took their positions to begin practice. It was a brutal afternoon, Kevin making things purposefully hard in retaliation to Neil and Andrew being late, but Neil appreciated the distraction it offered him. About half way through Andrew grew tired of Kevin’s bullshit and started launching every ball he deflected towards Kevin’s head and Neil, keeping his smile to himself, was reminded all over again why he had fallen in love with Andrew.

Neil’s mind was a million miles away from Browning’s phone call but as soon as practice came to an end it catapulted back to the front of Neil’s thoughts. Neil trudged reluctantly back to the locker room with his teammates and got changed out and showered. He prolonged his shower as long as he could but finally had to get out when the water ran cold. Andrew was the only one left waiting for him and he sat on the bench next to Neil’s bag, twirling his car keys in his hand.

Andrew’s gaze swept over Neil’s uncovered torso and he waited patiently as Neil changed into fresh clothes. He stood up when Neil was finished and headed towards the door and Neil grabbed his bag and followed him out. When they walked out into the parking lot Andrew pulled out his cigarettes and passed one to Neil after he had lit it for him. Andrew leaned up against his car as he began smoking his and Neil went to stand next to him, pressing his side flush with Andrew’s.

“Ready?” Andrew asked when he had finished his cigarette and crushed it beneath his foot.

“I think I’m actually going to run back to campus today,” Neil answered, crushing his cigarette into the pavement as well.

Andrew turned to face him fully and studied Neil’s face, probably realizing that whatever was bothering Neil was more serious than he originally thought.

“You have your phone?” Andrew asked him and Neil patted his pocket in confirmation. Satisfied, Andrew pulled Neil closer to him and pressed their foreheads together for a moment before kissing him. Neil leaned into the kiss and when Andrew pulled away he let his hand linger on Andrew’s neck where he had placed it when the kiss began.

“I’ll see you back at the dorm?” Neil said, both a question and a statement at the same time. Andrew nodded, took Neil’s bag from him and then got into his car. Neil watched him pull away and didn’t start his run until Andrew’s car had disappeared from sight.

When he reached the campus, he didn’t go back to the dorm and headed to the library instead. Neil felt like his stomach was going to bottom out on him but he forced himself up the steps anyway. He went straight to the computers and grabbed a seat at an empty one. He pulled up his email and sure enough there was an email from Agent Browning waiting for him. Neil hovered the mouse over the email, but it took almost fifteen minutes before he could bring himself to click on it.

When he finally did there was a brief message from Browning letting Neil know that the Natalie’s file was attached and although Neil opened it, he purposefully kept his eyes averted. Instead, he chose to print it out and made sure to send it to the library’s color printer, not caring how much extra it would cost him.

When he was done he logged out of his email, closed the browser and headed over to the library’s printers. After he had paid he took the papers and headed to the same secluded section of the library that Andrew had confronted Katelyn in almost two years before. He sat on the floor cross legged and rested the stack of papers face down on his lap. Neil took several deep breathes, trying to force his heart rate back to a normal rate, but quickly realized his efforts were useless. With one last deep breath he flipped the papers over and began reading.

Her full name was Natalie Anne Wesninski and she was born on September 8th, which meant she’d turn eight this fall. She was currently attending first grade at a school in West Baltimore and Neil wasn’t surprised to see that she had been born and raised in Baltimore since her mother was one of his father’s people. Her mother’s name was Monica Simon and Neil felt relieved that he didn’t recognize that name. There was a brief mention of how Monica had been killed but Neil skimmed over that part quickly not caring one way or the other.

From what Neil read, DCS had been contacted several times by concerned neighbors when Natalie had still lived with her mother and she was officially removed from her custody when she was almost four years old, which would have been around the time that Neil’s father had been jailed in Seattle and he wondered if there was any connection between the two.

Natalie had been placed with a foster family for two weeks before her grandmother was located and took custody of her. Her mother was granted visitation but based on statements included from the grandmother that was a rare occurrence. There was only a brief mention of Neil’s father as he was present during one of the times DCS followed up on a call and Neil didn’t want to imagine how that whole scenario had played out.

He read through the rest of the file, taking in every detail even though it was mostly inconsequential information about the state of the grandmother’s home and Natalie’s performance in school. There were also several reports from a child psychologist that Natalie had been required to see after being removed from her mother’s custody and each one included notes such as ‘ _uncooperative_ ’, ‘ _refused to talk_ ’ and ‘ _difficult_ ’ and Neil had wondered if she’d been taught the same lessons he had about talking to authority figures.

He finally reached the end of the stack and when he flipped to the last page he was blindsided when he found a full-page picture of Natalie staring back at him. His breath caught in his throat and it was almost a full minute before he could breathe again. He had of course wondered what she looked like and had hoped that maybe her mother’s genes had been more dominate that his mother’s had been but of course, _of course_ , that wasn’t the case.

Huge, ice blue eyes stared up at him from the page and seemed to bore straight into his soul. They were the same chilly shade as his father’s, _and his own_ , and there was an emotion hidden in them that Neil couldn’t place.  Neil briefly thought about showing her picture to Coach Wymack to see what he could gather from her photo but pushed that thought away as quickly as it had come.

Her hair was auburn, although it was a few shades lighter than Neil’s and his father’s, and it hung in stringy, loose curls long past her shoulders.  Freckles dotted her nose and cheeks, which Neil thought looked pretty gaunt for a seven-year-old. She was biting her lower lip in what Neil guessed was nervousness and he could just make the shape of her two top teeth. The photo was only of the top part of her body so there wasn’t much else Neil could gather from the picture, but he sat staring at it for what felt like forever.

He hadn’t realized he had been holding his breath again until he sucked in a gulp of air and felt his lungs burn with the relief of it. He quickly shuffled his sister’s photo back into the stack of papers, unable to look at it any longer without going into a full-blown panic attack and stood up from his spot and stretched. He wasn’t sure how long he had been in the library but when he glanced out one of the nearby windows he could see it was starting to turn dark outside.

He felt just as lost as he had when he had spoken to Agent Browning earlier that day. He didn’t know how he was supposed to feel or what he was supposed to do. The only thing he knew for certain right now was that he wanted to talk to Andrew and he quickly left the library and headed back to the dorms so he could do exactly that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Find me on tumblr @ [andrewminyardamiright](https://andrewminyardamiright.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Also, does anyone know what year Kevin, Allison and Matt were in the books? I thought they were all third years but I'm not sure and for some reason I can't find any info about what year everyone was >_<


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of dialog this chapter jsyk. I think you'll either like this chapter or hate it lol

Neil took the stairs up to his room two at a time but when he reached his floor he walked right the past the door of his dorm room and instead headed up to the roof where he knew Andrew would be waiting for him. Whether he was ready to talk or just needed quiet companionship or even a distraction, Andrew would be there and ready to offer it.

 Neil shimmied open the door and walked over to the edge of the roof where sure enough, Andrew was seated, one leg pulled up to his chest and an arm slung across his knee. He had a bottle a vodka in his hand and when Neil approached him he held it up in offering. Neil waved it away, leaned in to kiss him hello and sat down next to him on the ledge.

Neil gazed out over the campus and gripped the papers that he still had clutched in his hand. They felt heavy in his hand and he contemplated how it would feel if he opened his hand, let the breeze carry them away and just pretended that Agent Browning never called him. He squashed down the thought though, equating it to a form of running away, something that he staunchly didn’t let himself do anymore in _any_ shape or form. With one last deep breathe he turned to face Andrew and got straight to the point.

“I got a call from Agent Browning today.”

“What did you owe the pleasure of having to talk to that asshole?” Andrew asked, turning away from Neil with a bored look.

“He called to tell me I have a sister.”

Andrew’s expression didn’t change but he snapped his head back so quickly to look at Neil, his whole body taught with tension, that Neil knew he had taken him by surprise.

“A sister?” he asked, although it sounded more like a statement than a question.

“Yeah, a half-sister,” Neil explained but Andrew waved that away as if it were inconsequential.

“And he called to tell you this why?”

“Because her grandmother passed away a few days ago.” Neil said, and Andrew stared at him waiting for more of an explanation. It took Neil several long moments before he could tell Andrew the rest because saying it out loud would somehow make it seem more real.

“She lived with her grandmother I guess,” he finally said with a sigh. “Her mom was one of my father’s people and she was killed in the aftermath of his death. I’m the last living relative apparently.”

 Andrew didn’t say anything yet, but he set his bottle of vodka down, crossed his legs and stared at the papers in Neil’s hand.

“Browning called because I have the option of petitioning for guardianship of her if I want to,” Neil explained and handed Natalie’s file to Andrew.

“And if you don’t?” Andrew asked taking the papers from Neil’s hand.

“She’ll become a ward of the state,” Neil said, not wanting to say _foster care_ out loud. Andrew nodded and began reading.

“Natalie,” he said and then, “She’s only seven?”

Neil nodded in confirmation when Andrew glanced up at him. Andrew tapped his fingers against the back of the papers and then got back to reading without any further comments. Neil watched him as he read, trying to pick up on any tiny clue that would let him know what Andrew was thinking but it was a fruitless effort. When he came to the end of the file, and Natalie’s photo, Andrew laid the stack of papers on the roof edge between him and Neil, pressing his hand to them to keep them from blowing away.

“She looks like you,” he said, studying the photo.

“She looks like my father.”

“No,” he said looking up at Neil, “Nathan Wesninski is dead. She looks like _you_.”

Neil bit his lip but didn’t otherwise answer. Andrew must have been satisfied that Neil didn’t argue though because he let the subject drop and turned his attention back to the photo. He tapped the fingers of his free hand along the edge of the page and after a few minutes he looked back up at Neil.

“So, did Agent Shitbag let you know what bullshit we’ll need to do to become her guardians and how soon we can actually take custody.”

Neil had been having an internal struggle since he had talked to Browning that morning. He knew that morally he should want to take in his sister above all else, but hearing Andrew be so sure and willing to take her in set off every instinct in Neil of why exactly he… _they_ …. shouldn’t, _couldn’t_ , become Natalie’s guardians.

“No, he didn’t, but it doesn’t matter. Realistically we can’t take her in.”

“No. Realistically we’re _not_ letting her go into foster care,” Andrew argued, staring Neil down.

“Andrew,” Neil said staring back. “We can’t take care of a child. There’s no way it could ever work.”

“Oh Neil, always the realist, hmm? There’s always a way to make things work.”

“Oh really? So, what? She’d just live at the dorms with us then? I’m sure we can fit another bed in there somewhere right? Come on, Andrew. What would we do with her while we’re at our classes? Or at practice? We barely take care of ourselves, we _can’t_ fit a _kid_ into our lives.”

“So, you’re not even willing to try?”

“No, I’m not. I know it’s fucked but I’m not going to try when I already know it can’t work.”

“She’s your sister,” Andrew said, as if that was the only thing that mattered.

“And? So? She’s still a stranger. ‘ _Being related doesn’t make us family’_. I’d expect you of all people to understand that.”

“That statement becomes void when we’re talking about a fucking kid, Neil. She’s not old enough to have done anything to warrant disowning her. The only thing she’s old enough for is to _not_ get adopted. You realize she’s _way_ past her prime of being a wantable kid for any potential parents, right? You’d be sentencing her to a life of one shitty foster home after another.”

“That’s not….. That’s not how it ends up for everyone. Look at Renee.”

“Oh yes, look at her. Such a perfect fairytale,” Andrew said and cut his gaze away from Neil to stare out at campus. Neil kept quiet, a combination of not knowing what to say and wanting to let Andrew think and hopefully come to his senses. After several long minutes Andrew turned his attention back to Neil as he tucked Natalie’s file under his leg and pulled out his pack of cigarettes. Even though Neil knew he was pissed at him, Andrew still offered him a cigarette, and Neil took it without comment. After taking a long drag of his own, Andrew spoke again.

“Look, I know you can’t understand what it’s like being in the system but let me assure you that for most of the kids that go into it, it’s far from a fairytale. And yeah, I get where you’re coming from, Neil. I do. It would be so much easier to _run away_ , let her go into foster care, but it would be pretty fucking shitty to condemn her to that life when we can give her a chance.”

Neil knew Andrew was baiting him with the ‘ _run away’_ comment but he was to pissed to care.

 “A chance? What kind of chance would we be giving her? We’re already stretched thin, I just don’t see how you realistically think a kid could fit into our lives. We’d be doing her more harm than good.”

“Did I say it would be easy? No, but we’d figure it out. She’s old enough to go to school during the day and she could come to practice with us afterward.”

“Oh great. So, we’d raise her on the Exy field? Why don’t we change her name to Riko and tattoo a number one on her face while we’re at it.”

Andrew flashed him a dark look and Neil knew they were both crossing into dangerous territory. Andrew pulled the stack of papers out from under his leg and shoved them back into to Neil’s hands.

“Fine. You’re right,” Andrew shot back and turned away, setting his feet to the floor of the roof as if he were going to get up. “I’ll talk to Coach in the morning and let him know I’m quitting the team.”

Neil put out a hand to stop Andrew when he started to rise but was careful not to touch him, knowing despite how far they’d come, that Andrew still didn’t like being touched when he was mad. Andrew sat back down but he didn’t look back at Neil.

“What do you mean you’ll let Coach know you’re quitting the team?”

“Exactly what it sounds like. You’re so worried about when we’ll have time to take care of her so I’ll quit the team, focus on my classes and I’ll be available to take of her when she gets out of school. Problem solved.”

“How can you say that? How can you just throw away everything we’ve worked so hard for, _our future_ , for a kid you’ve never even met?”

“Exy’s your dream, not mine,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“That’s bullshit,” Neil snapped, “You can pretend Exy’s not important to you but I _know_ it is. It’s your way out. It’s your chance at having a _good_ life. We’re supposed to make that happen together.”

“Exy isn’t the only option for a future, Neil. Stop being so selfish.”

“I’m not the one being selfish. I’m being realistic. Even if you were to quit Exy and take care of her, do you really think any judge is going to grant us custody when her main caretaker has a proven record of violence? It’s not like it’s some big secret that you almost beat four men to death, that you were on anti-psychosis medication for almost _three_ years because of it, it’s public fucking knowledge. And not just that, neither of us have any experience with kids. We’d be fucking lost. Could you imagine if she came and jumped into our bed in the middle of the night? I’d be reaching for a weapon and you’d be lashing out before you even knew what happened. Sounds like an ideal home for a child, right?”

Andrew didn’t answer but Neil could see his jaw tighten up and he still had yet to look at Neil again.

“I know it sucks,” Neil said with a heavy sigh, “but she’s not our responsibility. Not really. She’s only seven, so she’s young enough that she still might find a good family and be adopted.”

Andrew’s hands clenched into fists and he stood up, finally looking back at Neil, his eyes burning with anger.

“She’s young enough to believe that saying _please_ would work,” he said, his voice gone cold. Neil’s mouth dropped open, but any words or thoughts escaped him, there was nothing he could say to that. With that, Andrew stomped away from Neil and towards the roof’s exit. He slammed the door hard enough that Neil was sure it must have woken up everyone in the dorm.

Neil didn’t go after him, knowing they both needed their space right now. He stayed on the roof by himself until dawn started to break. He read through Natalie’s file at least three more times, trying desperately to come up with a solution that would make both him and Andrew happy but each time he came up empty. He felt even more lost than he had that morning after Browning’s call.

When he finally felt that he’d given Andrew enough time, Neil picked up Andrew’s forgotten bottle of vodka and headed back to their dorm room. He unlocked the door and went in and shoved Natalie’s file into the bottom drawer of his desk, then headed to the bedroom. He felt nervous about seeing Andrew again, still not knowing what he could possibly say but he needn’t have worried. Andrew’s bed was empty and cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I really love that Neil can be a cold asshole when he doesn't care (or know) someone and that mentality was kind of where I was taking him with this chapter. And with Andrew, I just felt like 7 was such a significant age for _him_ that when he saw how old Natalie is his mind was made up instantly. I also really like how much they understand one another's needs and are still respectful of each other's boundaries even when they're pissed so I hope that came across this chapter as well. 
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading! <3 
> 
> Find me on tumblr @ [andrewminyardamiright](https://andrewminyardamiright.tumblr.com/)


	4. Chapter 4

After finding Andrew’s bed empty, Neil went out to the parking lot to see if the car was gone just to be sure and found that it was. He worried at his lower lip with his teeth. Andrew had disappeared before but never because he was mad Neil and never without leaving some kind of communication to let Neil know where he was, whether it was in the form of a text, a note or verbally from Nicky, Aaron or Kevin. Neil went back up to the room and texted Andrew a simple ‘ _hey_ ’ and then crawled into bed and laid his head on Andrew’s pillow, letting himself drink in the scent of Andrew while his mind wandered.

It didn’t matter that he’d just spent hours on the roof thinking, Neil hated not having a plan of action and even more, he hated Andrew being upset with him. Neil didn’t like to admit it, even to himself, but he was pissed at Andrew too. He knew objectively that he shouldn’t be, that Andrew’s willingness to take in Natalie came from deep rooted issues from his own child hood but still…. Neil was mad at his nonchalance and readiness to throw everything away. Andrew was always so willing to set aside his own wellbeing to protect others and Neil both loved and hated him for it. Eventually, Neil drifted off to sleep but he barely caught a few hours of rest before he had to wake up for class.

Neil didn’t hear from Andrew the entire morning and after he finished his classes he headed to the library to do some more research about Natalie. He looked up what options he had regarding her, the chances of her getting adopted, as well as the foster care system in Maryland. He could probably call Agent Browning to find out most of the info, but Neil wasn’t feeling particularly social at the moment. About an hour before they would normally leave for practice, Andrew finally texted him back, but it was only to say ‘ _Catch a ride with Aaron and Nicky to practice’_. Neil flipped his phone closed and didn’t bother answering, his mood souring more and more by the minute.  

When he was almost done at the library Neil sent Nicky a text about a ride and then jogged back to the dorm room to grab Natalie’s file and shoved it into his duffle bag. He met the cousins and Katelyn in the parking lot and ignored the questioning looks they gave him. Nicky must have sensed Neil’s bad mood because he mercifully filled the awkward silence with meaningless chatter. When they reached the stadium, Neil wasn’t sure if he was glad to see Andrew’s car in the parking lot or not.

Neil got dressed quickly and didn’t wait around for Nicky or Aaron before he went out to the field. He wasn’t surprised to find that Andrew was already out there and standing in his goal but based on the string of curses Kevin was directing at Andrew, who was blatantly ignoring him, he didn’t think practice had been going very well. Neil knew that both Andrew and Kevin noticed him come onto the field, but Kevin was the only one who acknowledged him.

“It’s about goddamn time, Josten. Can you go fucking reel your boyfriend in and get him to stop being such an asshole.”

“If you think I have any control over what he does, you’ve been paying even less attention than I gave you credit for, Day.”

“If you think you don’t, then I’m not the one who hasn’t been paying attention.”

Neil didn’t honor that with a response and looked around Kevin at Andrew, who was leaning on his goalie’s racquet and staring off at the sidelines at nothing in particular, purposefully ignoring both him and Kevin. Neil looked back to Kevin and shrugged his shoulders before jogging away to start his drills. He heard Kevin mutter another string of curses behind him but that was the least of Neil’s worries right now. The rest of the team came on the field a few moments later and Neil got to see first hand why Kevin was so pissed at Andrew.

It didn’t matter who tried to score on him, Andrew steadfastly continued to stare into space, leaning on his racquet and not even slightly attempting to block the ball. Kevin had already reached his bullshit threshold, likely having been practicing with Andrew for an hour already and started aiming his shots at Andrew’s body, Andrew still didn’t take the bait though, only deflecting the balls that came too close to his face.  About 30 minutes into practice, Neil had had enough as well and approached the goal to talk to Andrew.

“Can you stop, _please_?” Neil asked him, grabbing at the strings of Andrew’s racquet, irritation clear in his voice. Andrew turned a bored gaze on Neil and pulled his racquet from Neil’s grip and let it drop to the ground.

“Okay,” he said and pushed past Neil and headed off the court. Neil stared after him but didn’t try to stop him. The sound of the racquet hitting the ground echoed loudly in Neil’s ears.

“Minyard, where the hell do you think you’re going?” Coach Wymack yelled from the side lines but Andrew ignored him and kept walking. “Fine, but you better be waiting for me in my office after practice ends,” Wymack shouted as Andrew exited through the door. With a shake of his head he turned his attention to Neil. “Do you need to go after him?” he asked.

“No, Coach,” Neil responded, keeping his voice and face both carefully blank.

“Fine,” Wymack said even though he was obviously not happy. “but make sure your ass is in my office after practice too.” He turned his focus to the players on the other side of the field, wordlessly dismissing Neil to get back to practice.

“Aw, what’s the matter,” Neil heard off to his right and turned to find Jack a few feet away giving him a nasty sneer. “Trouble in paradise? Must not being preforming your wifely duties, huh?”

Neil was definitely not in the mood for any of Jack’s bullshit, especially when it regarded his sexuality and his relationship with Andrew. Neil took a step towards him, fully intending to put his fist into Jack’’s smart mouth but Kevin, who was a few steps away as well, reached Jack first and gave him a rough shove towards the other side of the field.

“Keep your mouth shut about things you know nothing about,” he said scathingly, getting in Jack’s face. “The only topic you’re allowed to have an opinion on is Exy and until you learn to respect your Captain I don’t want to hear even that. So seriously, shut the hell up and get back to practice.”

To Jack’s credit he didn’t say anything more and jogged away to join the rest of the team, but anyone with eyes could see he was seething with anger. Kevin spared Neil a quick glance before he followed after Jack and Neil was grateful for both his interference with Jack and his decision to leave Neil alone. Neil took a few moments to collect himself and then jogged to meet up with the rest of his team. He forced himself to keep his mind blank and focused on his drills instead.

When practice finally ended, Neil was the first one off the field, hoping to catch a few moments alone with Andrew before Wymack joined them. He had just put his hand on the door knob of the office when Wymack’s voice cut through his intent.

“Neil, go shower and change out first. The only thing I want stinking up my office is your attitude.”

Neil sighed but did as Wymack said and went a showered and changed as fast as he could. When he got back to Wymack’s office, Coach was waiting for Neil by the open door and when Neil came in he closed the door behind him but didn’t move farther into the room. Instead he crossed his arms and remained by the door. Andrew was sitting in Wymack’s desk chair, impassive look still in place, but he had wheeled the chair so that he was in the far corner, parallel from Wymack. Neil went and leaned against the edge of Wymack’s desk where he would have a clear view of both his coach and Andrew.

“Alright,” Wymack said, directing his attention to Andrew. “Now that asshole number two is here are you going to start talking?” Andrew flicked his gaze to Coach and then to Neil. He held Neil’s gaze but neither of them spoke.

“Is this some sort of lover’s quarrel?” Wymack continued. “Because not only is that way out of my paygrade, you two should know better than to bring that shit onto my field.”

“Oh, Coach,” Andrew said, still not looking away from Neil. “You should know I don’t have the disposition for such trivial dramatics.”

Wymack rolled his eyes, not believing that for a second. “Alright smartass, then enlighten me to what has the two of you acting like grade-A assholes.”

“Would you like to do the honors, or should I?” Andrew asked Neil and when he kept silent, Andrew turned his attention to Wymack.

“Turns out our dear Neil has a little sister and surprise! she’s an orphan just like him. I think I see a trend starting on our team, don’t you Coach?” Wymack didn’t respond but based on the look on his face and the way he uncrossed his arms, letting them drop to his sides, he was clearly surprised. Andrew didn’t give him a chance to respond though and kept talking. “Neil’s her last living relative so now he has some tough decisions to make: either take custody of her or let her go into foster care but we both know I’m not going to let that happen. But as Neil so _wisely_ pointed out, we can’t balance Exy, school and a kid, so I’m quitting the team so that I can take care of her. Consider this my official resignation.”

If Wymack had been surprised before, Andrew’s last revelation left him down right shocked. A myriad of emotions crossed his face in a matter of seconds. His mouth dropped open, then closed and he looked back and forth between Andrew and Neil, probably trying to gauge if this was some kind of joke. When neither of them spoke up to dispute Andrew’s words, Wymack focused back on Andrew and exploded.

“You can’t be serious! Is this some kind of dumb joke because I swear to god Andrew, it’s not funny.”

“I’m afraid not, Coach. I’m as serious as a heart attack,” Andrew said unapologetically.

“Were you born this stupid or did you get dropped on your head as a kid?”

“Not sure, Coach. Let me call my parents and find out. Oh, wait. That’s right. I don’t have any. Sorry, Coach. Maybe you can check my file,” Andrew said casually, shrugging his shoulders. Wymack’s face had already been flushed with anger but Neil could swear it turned at least three shades darker at Andrew’s sarcasm.

“I don’t have to check, this kind of stupidity can only be something you’re born with,” Wymack snapped and then turned to Neil. “And you? Don’t tell me you support this foolishness?”

Neil didn’t get a chance to answer as Andrew did it for him. “Oh no, Coach. Of course not. You wouldn’t expect an Exy junkie like Neil to let anything come between him and his fix would you? He’s more than willing to let her be put into foster care.”

“That’s not fair,” Neil interjected, getting fed up. “You know that wasn’t my only reason.”

“I don’t give a fuck if it is his only reason, he’s right,” Wymack argued. “You can’t just throw your future away for a kid you’ve never even met. And how in the hell can you even feasibly think you’re anywhere near capable of raising a kid, Andrew? Even if you did quit the team that would still be a disaster and a half. God, I don’t even want to fucking think about it.”

Neil wasn’t surprised that Wymack was on his side with this but having someone agree with him didn’t make him feel any better. Outwardly Andrew didn’t look like he cared one way or the other, but Neil could see the tense set of his shoulders and the white of his knuckles where he gripped his knees. Instead of arguing with Wymack, Andrew looked back to Neil.

“Did you bring her file?” he asked, and Neil kicked at his duffel bag that he’d set on the floor next him in way of an answer. Andrew said no more and got out of his chair and knelt by Neil’s bag, unzipping it and pulling out Natalie’s file. Silently, he flipped to the last page, moving it to the top of the pile, and then stood and shoved it into Wymack’s hands. Wymack stared down at Natalie’s photo for what felt like eternity, eventually flipping slowly through the other papers as well. When he was finally done he handed the paper’s back to Andrew, who tucked them back into Neil’s bag and then retook his seat.

“Now tell me, Coach, if you still agree that we should let her go into the system,” Andrew said as he crossed his arms. Wymack didn’t say anything but his silence spoke louder than any words ever could. Neil knew he had lost his ally. He desperately wanted to ask Coach what he saw when he had looked at Natalie’s picture but he resigned himself to asking about that later. He had come to practice knowing he had two options he could take when it came to Natalie and seeing Andrew and Wymack’s unwavering resolve, he knew which choice he would make.

“Andrew’s not quitting the team, Coach,” Neil said and Andrew opened his mouth to argue. Before he could say anything, Neil finished what he needed to say. “I am.”

“God dammit,” Wymack said softly but he didn’t otherwise argue. Apparently, whatever he had seen in Natalie’s photo had taken all the fight out of him.  Andrew stared at him with an intense look for several long moments. He finally rose from his chair again and came to stand in front of Neil, searching his face. Neil held his gaze but Andrew still gripped his chin as if keeping him from looking away, or he may have just wanted the touch.

“ _You_ are going to quit _Exy_?” he asked.

“That’s right.”

“Exy’s your dream.”

“Was my dream, _was_. I have a new dream now,” Neil said staring straight into Andrew’s eyes. Things must have gotten to intimate for Wymack’s liking because Neil could see movement in his peripheral vision as Wymack opened the door and left Neil and Andrew alone in the office, but Neil didn’t look away from Andrew and Andrew didn’t look away from Neil.

“Are you quoting _Tangled_ at me,” Andrew asked when Wymack was gone.

“Huh?” Neil asked, not understanding the reference.

“Never mind,” Andrew said waving away Neil’s confusion. “What did I tell you about being the martyr?”

“I think you need to take your own advice,” Neil shot back.

“You’d really give up Exy for her?”

“No. But I’d give it up for you.”

“Don’t say stupid things.”

“I’m not. You know I don’t lie anymore. I wouldn’t say something unless I absolutely meant it.”

Andrew slid his hand from Neil’s chin to the side of his face and he let his thumb lightly trace along the lines of Neil’s cheekbone, just above his scaring. “Why?” he eventually asked.

“Because you mean more to me than Exy ever could and Exy would never mean the same thing to me if you weren’t out there playing too. I can’t let you to throw it away and see you end up working some meaningless job that you’ll hate someday. I’d rather die.” Andrew stayed silent, so Neil kept talking.

“We both know we stand a better chance of getting guardianship of my sister if I’d be her main caretaker and I’m sure I’ll figure out how to take care of a kid eventually, right? Besides, it’s not like I’d be giving up Exy completely. I know I’ll be able to get a coaching position when I’m done with school. Hell, maybe I’ll even end up coaching whatever team you end up playing for and I’ll get to boss you around for a change,” Neil said, a small smile playing at his lips. Andrew moved his hand into Neil’s hair and gave it a slight tug to let Neil know he didn’t appreciate his attempt at humor and then leaned in to give him a kiss.

“Don’t you think you’ll come to resent me some day for destroying your dreams?” Andrew asked when he pulled away from Neil’s lips.

“No, but I _know_ I’d resent myself if I let you walk away from your chance at US Court.”

Andrew leaned in for another kiss and Neil didn’t hold back in returning it. This time when the kiss ended Andrew went and sat back in his chair and leveled Neil with an intense look. He leaned forward and rested his chin in his hands, never breaking his gaze from Neil’s.

“I think I found a way that we could take care of Natalie with neither of us having to quit the team,” he said and tapped his lips when he finished speaking.

Neil furrowed his brow and tilted his head in question, trying to piece together what Andrew was getting at. “Where did you go last night?” he asked, feeling like the answer was right there.

“I went to Bee’s” Andrew said simply, and Neil felt his stomach drop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading! and also for all the kudos and comments as well, they're _very_ appreciated =) Next chapter we'll find out Andrew's plan and how Betsy fits into it and also hear some more from Wymack. Natalie will probably make an appearance two chapters from now, in chapter 6 . 
> 
> Oh yeah and I realize that tangled came out after this fic would have taken place but I had planned two references to it from the beginning so I’m just going to pretend it came out earlier lol beauty of fan fiction right?
> 
> So, notes re this chapter in case anyone's interested- Neil went to practice having decided upon two options 1. let Natalie become a ward of the state or 2. Quit Exy himself so he could become her guardian. He wasn't happy with either option but he wanted to gauge whether Andrew had changed his mind re Natalie at all and that's why he stayed mostly quiet at practice and in Wymack's office, wanting to observe before he let his choice be known, and not actually having made that final decision until hearing Andrew's resolve and Wymacks reluctant acceptance
> 
> and then with Andrew (I'm pretty convinced that it would take a looonnnggg time for him to come terms with the fact that Neil wasn't going to eventually leave him and that he'd do things occasionally to test that theory trying to drive Neil away, I might write a one shot about this lol) but at this point in their relationship I would think he'd be mostly past that doubt but when the situation with Natalie arose he couldn't help but wonder if Neil would still stick with him once he was no longer part of the Exy world. Andrew's decision with Natalie had to do with his unwillingness to let her(who was someone who looked so much like the man he loves and has a look in her eye that Andrew recognizes all to well) fall into the same horrible situations he had faced but he also couldn't help but wonder how Neil would view him once he quit Exy, if Andrew would still hold the same interest for him or if that interest would die.
> 
> And that's the reason he didn't let it be known that he had talked to Betsy and that there was an option 3 re taking in Natalie. He saw that as the easy way out and then he would never know if Neil would have still stuck around, and that doubt would always linger in the back of his mind. Andrew was fully not expecting Neil to offer to quit the team instead, thinking that Exy would always be Neil's number 1, and in that moment he _knew_ that that was no longer the case, that Neil wasn't only interested in him because of Exy but that Neil loved him for him and that would never change. Andrew would have never let Neil actually quit the team but now that his doubts have been eased it was safe for him to offer option 3- whatever he had talked about with Betsy.
> 
> Anyways, that was part of my thought process this chapter, hope you all enjoyed reading <3


	5. Chapter 5

“You went to Bee’s,” Neil said, mimicking Andrew’s words as he tried to process exactly what that meant. Andrew stared at Neil, likely giving him time to let it sink in, knowing that Neil still only held a begrudging acceptance of Betsy Dobson. Neil shook his head, not liking the reasons he came up with and needing clarification before his thoughts spiraled away.

“Why did you get Dobson involved?” Neil questioned, not able to completely clear the edge from his voice.

 “I just went to talk to her," Andrew replied. “I figured it was a better alternative than staying and punching you in the face. I knew you were right though. About what you said about our chances of getting custody of your sister, especially if I’m involved. I just needed to vent but turns out Bee knows her shit when it comes to foster care.”

“So, what did she suggest then?”

“She basically said the only thing we have going in our favor right now is that you’re Natalie’s only living relative, but even with that it will still difficult if not impossible for us to get gaurdianship. Custody would still need to be approved by a judge and even though it might be able to expediated because of the situation and the FBI’s involvement, they’re still going to have to look at the fact that you’re essentially a complete stranger to her, your own violent past and upbringing and if you’d actually have the time, money and means to care for her properly. Not to mention that you’re in a same sex relationship with a man who has his own fucked up history that includes documented sexual abuse. Most courts aren’t exactly a fan of that you know.”

Neil swallowed down the anger he could feel rising up in him at the last two points Andrew made even though he knew he was right. “So, then what did Dobson suggest?” he asked.

“She said we basically have two different strategies we can take. We can either try to do it on our own. In which case one of us… you,” Andrew conceded, gesturing at Neil with a wave of his hand, “would have to quit the team and even though we have money one of us would also need to get a job on top of that to prove we’d have a viable income. Which completely defeats the purpose of you quitting the team to have extra time for her, right? Then we’d need to prove we would have reliable childcare for her when we’re not available, whether it would be while we’re busy with school, work or Exy. We’d have to get our own place because the dorms obviously wouldn’t work. We could sell the house in Columbia and get something closer to campus but that might take some considerable time. Once that’s done, DCFS would send someone out to make sure the house would be safe for a child and we’d have to make any modifications that they suggest. All of this is going to take time though and while we get everything in place, Natalie would be placed into temporary foster care until we were ready.”

“Which is exactly what we don’t want,” Neil pointed out. Most of what Andrew was saying lined up with what Neil had researched at the library earlier that afternoon but he had been hoping that maybe they would be able to side step most of that bullshit, but it didn’t sound like that was going to be the case.

“So, what’s our second option?” he asked, wondering what possible way could allow them to take in his sister without quitting the team, although he was desperately hopeful.

“Bee’s a licensed foster parent.”

“No” Neil said automatically, not even having an argument other than that and not even knowing exactly what he was arguing against yet. It was just _no_. Andrew got up from his chair to come stand in front of Neil again and placed his hand over Neil’s mouth.

“I know,” he said. “I _know_ she’s not your favorite person but just let me finish before you open your mouth to inevitably argue, okay?”

Neil didn’t even want to hear what Andrew had to say if he was being honest, but he nodded anyways. Dobson was important to Andrew and Neil was okay with that, but he still didn’t like her knowing or being directly involved in anything about his own life. Regardless, he nodded his head in agreement. Andrew looked doubtful, likely knowing exactly what Neil was thinking, but took his hand from Neil’s mouth.

“Why is she licensed to have foster kids?” Neil asked as soon as Andrew’s hand was gone, figuring that questions didn’t count as arguing. Andrew sighed, likely not agreeing with Neil’s reasoning, but explained anyway.

“She did it when worked in juvie. Had some kids she got attached to that would have went back into the system, so she thought maybe she could save them.”

“Did it work?” Neil asked but Andrew didn’t answer, and Neil could tell from the look on his face that if he wanted an answer to that question he would have to ask Dobson. He was fine not knowing.

“They weren’t the only kids she took in but she hasn’t had any more fosters since she came to Palmetto State. She’s kept up with all the recerts and requirements though, just in case.”

“So, what? She’s going to foster Natalie for us? I don’t see how that solves everything, Andrew. Yeah, Natalie would be safe and we’d know where she is but how long is Dobson even willing to do this? This would completely disrupt her life and Natalie’s only seven, so what happens when Betsy decides she doesn’t want that commitment anymore or when she figures out that hot chocolate isn’t the solution to every problem.”

Andrew rolled his eyes, either fed up with Neil’s interruptions or his sarcasm, probably both and put his hand back over Neil’s frowning mouth.

“Didn’t I tell you to stay quiet until I was done?”

“You said not to argue,” Neil said against Andrew’s hand and although his words were muffled Andrew understood him perfectly.

“Well, you failed on both counts, so how about we just go with you staying silent until I’m done explaining instead?” Neil rolled his eyes in lieu of a response but Andrew knew that was as good as a yes.  He still kept his hand over Neil’s mouth for several long moments even after he started speaking again.

“Bee would be listed as her foster mother, yes, but we would take all the steps to become foster parents too and we’d be her main caregivers. Bee will be there to help us whenever we need it but more than anything she’s going to be a buffer between us and the Courts. We’ll still have to go through the interview process and background checks that foster parent go through to get licensed but with Bee standing in to co-foster with us and as a reliable character witness as well, we have a much better and faster chance of being approved.” Andrew let his hand drop from Neil’s mouth and started holding up his fingers one at a time as he ticked off facts.

“Bee’s house has already cleared DCFS requirements. She’s in their roster as both a viable foster mother and a respected psychiatrist. If she signs onto to foster Natalie, we would be able to bypass all the time we’d have to spend selling the house, buying a new one and getting it ready, plus the all of the interviews and analysis over whether we’re actually qualified to take care of a kid, which we’d honestly have a shit chance of passing anyway.”

“Also, if we start by fostering Natalie instead of petitioning for guardianship, it will give us a chance to prove that we responsible caretakers, as well as establish a relationship with her if we do decide to eventually adopt her. And if it turns out that we really would be shit guardians and Natalie would be better off without us then Bee said she’ll use some of her connections in the system to make sure that Natalie would be placed with a family that wants to adopt her.”   

Andrew fell quiet and Neil, who had been biting his lip to keep from interrupting, took that as his cue to start speaking. “I… I don’t understand though. Natalie’s going to live with Dobson but we can still be listed as fosters and be her main caregivers? I mean that all sounded good and everything, but I just don’t see how that’s going to work if we’re still living at the dorms.”

“We wouldn’t be living at the dorms,” Andrew said and waited for Neil to catch up. When he did, Neil’s face visibly paled.

“No,” he said and Andrew titled his head and studied Neil.

“So, you’d rather go with option one – quit Exy, get a job and still probably not be able to get guardianship of your sister – than live with Bee?”

“Yes…. No…. Fuck, Andrew, I don’t know. I don’t …. Why is she even agreeing to this?” Neil demanded, running a hand through his hair.

“Because she knows it’s important to _me_ and I’m important to _her_ ,” Andrew explained as if that were obvious. “She wants to see me succeed, you too even if you don’t want to admit it, and she knows what we’d have to sacrifice if we try to do this on our own.”

Neil didn’t have anything to say to that and fell silent as he held Andrew’s gaze and let himself process everything Andrew had just told him. Andrew crossed his arms and waited him out.

Neil hated to admit it but what Dobson was offering was by far their best option, that didn’t mean he had to like it though. He didn’t _want_ to live with Dobson. He didn’t _want_ to have to see her every day. He didn’t _want_ to have to talk to her. He didn’t _want_ her getting a first-row view into his life. But, and that was a very big but, he also realized that wants aside, this is what they _needed_.

He and Andrew could keep their future and still play Exy. They’d have help with Natalie if they needed it and they even had an out if this ended up going even worse than he imagined it was going to. He also knew what Dobson offering to help meant to Andrew. Neil might never understand the relationship Andrew had with her, but he knew the significance of Andrew having someone he trusted, someone who wouldn’t give up on him and someone who was there for him when he needed it. Neil was all of those things for Andrew too, but Neil knew that Betsy Dobson helped fill some of the cracks that Cass Spear and Tilda Minyard had left in Andrew’s life. Cracks that Neil, as Andrew’s boyfriend, would never be able to fill himself. 

“Okay,” he said with a final heavy sighand nodded his head as if convincing himself.

“Okay, what?” Andrew asked, needing Neil to say what he was agreeing to even if he already knew.

“Okay, we’ll take Dobson’s help. You’re right, it’s our best option.”

Andrew stepped even closer to Neil, closing the smallt gap that had been left between them and braced his arms on either side of Neil, trapping him against the desk. “You know, you’d think by now that I wouldn’t be surprised that you’re not as dumb as you look,” he said and pressed his lips to Neil’s. Neil grinned and kissed him back.

“Does she even have room for us though?” Neil asked as an afterthought once Andrew had pulled away.

“Yeah. Her house has a finished basement. She doesn’t use it so we’ll have to clean it out but really the only thing we’ll have to share with her is the kitchen. You probably won’t even have to see her all that often,” Andrew explained.

“You couldn’t have said that from the beginning?”

“It wouldn’t have been as fun as watching you squirm,” Andrew said and Neil gave him a playful push, although Andrew didn’t budge even an inch.

“So, we’re really doing this?” Neil asked.

“As long as you’re sure.”

“I’m not sure but I want to at least try.”

Andrew nodded at that and stooped to grab Neil’s duffle bag and slung it onto  Neil’s shoulder. “Me too,” he said and headed towards the door. “Ready to go?”

“Not yet,” Neil said as he followed him. “I need to talk to Wymack.”

“Okay, do you want me to wait for you?”

“You don’t have to. I can run home.”

“I’ll wait,” Andrew said and turned towards the exit as they left Wymack’s office. Neil nodded and walked over to stand in front of Coach Wymack who was leaning against the wall opposite of his office waiting for Neil and Andrew to emerge. He didn’t question why Andrew didn’t stick around.

“Are you coming to give me your official resignation?” he asked Neil, his voice heavy with emotions that Neil was too tired to even try to figure out.

“No, I’m not quitting the team, and neither is Andrew, Neil said.  When Wymack gave him a questioning look Neil continued “Dobson’s going to help us.”

Wymack’s look of confusion only deepened at that explanation but Neil didn’t give anymore details, figuring that Wymack could get his answers from Dobson later. Wymack was silent for a few minutes, giving Neil a chance to further explain and he sighed when he realized Neil wasn’t going to elaborate. He didn’t look surprised, by now used to Neil being tight lipped about things.

“Okay, well I’m glad to hear we’re not losing either of you.”

“Yeah, me too,” Neil agreed and then asked, “Coach? What was it you saw in my sister’s photo that made you change your mind about us taking her in?”

Wymack regarded Neil and tapped his fingers against his bicep as he thought of how to answer. “I’ve been through hundreds of student’s files looking for potential recruits for the team,” he finally began. “I know I’m not always right but once you know what to look for, it’s easy to read people even from a photo. Sometimes I see kids whose eyes are dead and I know they’ve already been broken, sometimes I see kids who have a cruel glint in their eyes and I know that they’ll turn out just like the people that made them that way. Sometimes I see kids who just don’t care or ones whose life’s are a joke to them. Sometimes I see kids who are scared of the world and others who are angry at it.”

“But what I’m looking for when I look for new recruits are the kids who have a fire in their eyes, the ones who are fighters and who want more than shitty hand they’ve been dealt. Sometimes I have to look past the other things, like fear or anger or apathy to find it, but if it’s there than that’s the only thing that matters because they can still be reached and sometimes they just need that second or third or fourth chance to reignite their fire again or even just make it burn hotter.”

“Your sister has that look. She looks scared, but she has that same strength I look for in her eyes. She’ll be a fighter until the end but that’s also going to make her a target if she goes into foster care. If she enters the wrong home, she’d just be more fun for someone to try to break. I imagine that’s why Andrew learned to mask his expressions, but most kids don’t learn that and even when they do it’s almost always too late.”  

“You don’t think Andrew’s broken?” Neil asked.

“We both know he’s not. He came close, but I’ve seen the way his eyes burn sometimes.”

Neil nodded in agreement. He knew there was more Andrew than just his apathy, that he was capable of feeling and wasn’t the sociopath that people tended to think he was, but he still liked to know that he wasn’t the only one who saw it.

“You’re don’t think we’re stupid for doing this?”

“Oh, I don’t think stupid,” Wymack said.” I _know_ you’re stupid, but I do think you’re doing the right thing and I’m proud of both of you.”

Neil nodded and swallowed down the lump that had risen in his throat at Coach’s words. He adjusted the strap of his duffel bag on his shoulder and shifted on his feet, not knowing how to respond to Wymack’s words. Wymack took pity on him though and didn’t wait for a response.

“You better get going before Andrew gets tired of waiting for you,” he said, and Neill nodded once more and turned away.

“Oh, and Neil?” Wymack called after him before he made it out. Neil turned back and stared. “We’re all here for you and Andrew. Abby, the team and me. You can always come to any of us if you need help with your sister or _anything_ else. Don’t forget that, okay?”

“Thanks, Coach,” Neil managed to croak out even though the lump was back in his throat. He turned and hurried away as fast as he could. His thoughts were a jumbled mess but for the first time since Agent Browning’s call, he felt like everything was going to be ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to keep this chapter (and this whole story) as realistic as possible so I pulled inspiration from some of my own experiences with foster care, I know not all of it is completely in line with how things work irl life but i think it's pretty close and again, beauty of fanfic right? Also, I don't think that Andrew and Neil could take in a kid (atleasat at the point where they’re at in this fic) without having a HUGE support system and Betsy was a solution for that, as well as giving me an opportunity to build on her and Andrew's relationship ( which i loved in the books) as well as her's and Neil's. If it's not obvious by now I really like writing about the dynamics between people and their relationships with one another and how they grow both separately and together lol Natalie will be making her first appearance next chapter :)
> 
> Anyways, as always thanks for reading! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again! I didn't get a chance to respond to comments last chapter but I just wanted to say thank you for them here, i love hearing feedback from you guys and every comment is super appreciated even if I dont get a chance to answer <3

Neil was fully aware that all the steps he had to take to get everything ready for his little sister’s arrival could have been a whole hell of a lot harder, but that didn’t change the fact that it was still completely and utterly fucking exhausting. Both physically, mentally and, although Neil didn’t realize it, emotionally.

After calling Agent Browning to let him know that he and Andrew would in fact be taking Natalie and how exactly they planned on making it work, Browning let him know that a DCFS agent would be getting in contact with him by the end of the day. Neil had thought Browning would have more to say about him involving Betsy, or even Andrew, but for once he had nothing to add. Neil figured he must only have an opinion on things when it wasn’t wanted.

True to Browning’s word, an agent from DCFS called Neil later that afternoon. The woman he spoke to let him know that the lady Natalie was currently staying with had agreed to let Natalie stay in her home for another week while Neil got everything in order, although she stressed that the woman did _not_ sound happy about it. The agent relentlessly questioned him about his living arrangements, Dobson’s involvement, Andrew, and every other small detail she could think of. Neil gritted his teeth and answered as best as he could and mentally willed the call to end.

The agent made sure that Neil would be able to fly in to pick Natalie up on the right day and also that he could afford the plane tickets for both him and Natalie as well. When he assured the agent that it wouldn’t be a problem she gave him the time and address of where he could pick Natalie up when he arrived in Baltimore.

Because he lived in a different state the agent let him know that someone from their South Carolina chapter would be contacting him as well so that they could set up the interviews and home check. Neil had to bite his tongue to keep from asking her why she had needed to ask so many questions if she wasn’t part of the actual interview. Instead he thanked the agent and hung up with a sigh of relief.

 He had thought the phone call had been bad, but the in-person interviews turned out to be a million times worse. Having Betsy with them definitely helped, if only for the fact that her presence helped lessen the blow of Neil and Andrew’s rough edges.  The DCFS agents that they spoke to seemed hesitant but after countless reassurances from Betsy, as well as character references from Coach and Abby, they eventually approved Neil and Andrew as fosters. Neil had had to bite his tongue through almost the whole process and by the end of the interviews he could taste blood in his mouth. His palms were indented with half-moon crescents from clenching his fists so hard and as they left the DCFS building he had to work the stiffness from them.

After they were cleared as fosters, Wymack agreed that it was time to tell the team about Natalie considering that she would more than likely be coming to most of their practices now. Wymack called a meeting after their evening practice the next day and left it up to Neil to tell everyone what was going on.

It went about as well as he expected, although he was less than thrilled with the barrage of questions he received. Kevin had immediately voiced concern over how having her there would affect their practices and games, not to mention Neil and Andrew’s performances, and a few other team mates hummed their agreement. Wymack shut them down with a several choice words about selfishness, teamwork, and a few sprinkled in assurances that he, Abby and Betsy would step in to help if it was needed.

Nicky and Aaron were both visibly shocked although Nicky looked more hurt at not being told about Natalie  beforehand, while Aaron looked more dubious at the prospect of Andrew and Neil being in charge of a child. Honestly, he wasn’t the only teammate that keep throwing worried glances Andrew’s way but if Andrew noticed he didn’t acknowledge it. Neil definitely noticed but kept his mouth shut, more because of his own doubts about _him_ being in charge of kid than Andrew though.

After Nicky collected himself and hid his hurt, he and Matt led most of the questioning, wanting to know where Natalie would be staying, how old she was, questions about her mom, if she really would be coming to practices and games, etc. Andrew refused to join the discussion, so Neil was left answering everything on his own and while he understood the necessity of it, he was more than a little tired of questions and prying by this point.

The more he talked the more the team seemed to be split on their feelings about Neil fostering his sister and it was almost exclusively the upperclassmen versus the newer recruits. Wymack had shut Kevin down knowing how one-track Kevin’s focus could be but Coach also seemed to realize that he needed to let the rest of the team hash out their own opinions on the matter and kept mostly quiet. Surprisingly enough it was Jack who rallied everyone to stand behind Neil’s decisions, unintentional though it was.

“How is CPS or whatever even okay with this?” Jack had asked, interrupting a current disagreement about how disruptive a kid would be at practices. Andrew’s head snapped up to stare at Jack, his first real involvement since the meeting had begun. Neil did the same, but Kevin answered Jack before either Neil or Andrew could respond.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Jack sneered, giving Andrew and Neil a nasty look before turning his attention to Kevin. “I thought CPS had rules about gay dudes not being able adopt kids.”

There was a moment of tense silence as everyone took in what Jack was getting at. Andrew’s knuckles turned white as he gripped his thighs and Neil weighed where he could do the most damage if he were to punch Jack in the face again. Kevin was again the first to respond though. “What have I told you about keeping your mouth shut unless you have something viable to add to the conversation?”

“I’m just saying,” Jack continued unperturbed, “hasn’t there been studies that have shown—”

He didn’t get a chance to answer before the rest of the team jumped his ass and effectively shut down any arguments he might have made. Aaron looked more pissed than anyone and didn’t hold back letting Jack know exactly what he thought, while everyone else argued about how backwards and stupid that thought process was and just like that the mood of the team shifted as they came together to stand behind Andrew and Neil’s choice to foster Natalie. Sheena was the only exception, knocking her shoulder against Jack’s to convey her agreeance with him, but she otherwise, wisely, kept silent.

Wymack, satisfied that his team was mostly in support of Andrew and Neil now, ended the meeting and dismissed them all. As the team was leaving, almost everyone stopped Neil to separately let him know that they thought what he was doing was awesome and that if he ever needed any help with Natalie to just let them know. Jack and Sheena were the only ones who had nothing to say. During the rest of the week’s practices no one, including Coach Wymack, said anything to Andrew when he sent every ball he deflected towards Jack’s head.

  Neil had been one hundred percent sure that moving into Betsy Dobson’s basement would have been the worst part of the whole ordeal, but it turned out to be the easiest. She did in fact have a full, albeit messy, basement. It was complete with two makeshift bedrooms, a decently sized living room and a full bathroom. Andrew had ordered some of the essential furniture they would need, including beds, dressers, a couch and chair for the living room and even a toy box from a local furniture store and with the help of the majority of the Foxes, Andrew and Neil had it cleaned out and set up within the course of a weekend. Betsy, for her part, stayed out of their hair and Neil was eternally grateful for that small allowance.

Buying everything they would need for a seven-year-old girl turned out to be way harder than Neil had expected. As he and Andrew browsed the aisels of one of the local department stores, Neil quickly realized that he knew jackshit about what a kid, and especially a little girl, would need. He aimlessly followed Andrew around the store and based on the way Andrew was carelessly knocking things from the shelves and letting them fall into the cart, he figured that Andrew must be just as lost as him.

“Maybe we should have brought one of the girls with us,” he suggested when their cart was about halfway full.

“Why?” Andrew asked glancing back at him.

“So they could help us get stuff that Natalie’s actually going to need.”

“We’re fine,” Andrew said and went back to knocking stuff into the cart. Neil frowned but finally took a good look at what was actually in the cart.  

It was filled with several different sheet sets, a comforter, pillows and a small throw blanket for the twin sized bed Andrew had ordered for Natalie. There was also children’s toothpaste, a small purple tooth brush, children’s shampoo, conditioner, body wash and bubble bath, as well as hooded towels and brightly colored washcloths. Neil also saw a small hair brush, hair ties, child sized nail clippers, band-aids, various types of children’s medication, a thermometer and a couple of very random toys and Disney movies. Some of it was stuff that Neil would have thought to get on his own but most of it he would have never considered.

“Did Dobson make you a list of stuff to get?” Neil questioned Andrew, figuring that must be it. Andrew glanced back at Neil gain, giving him very unamused look.

“No,” he answered very unhelpfully.

“Then how’d you know what to get?” Neil asked, genuinely curious.

“Common sense,” Andrew shot back and then continued, “It’s not like I was always the only kid at the foster homes I was in. You pick up on things, including what type of shit are necessities.”

Neil nodded but otherwise fell silent. Andrew had never mentioned being in foster homes with other kids before and Neil desperately wanted to question him about it. He knew, however, that the likely hood of Andrew actually answering his questions in the middle of a department store was zero, so instead he trailed behind Andrew with the cart and thought of ways he could broach the subject later.

Andrew, apparently satisfied with what was in the cart, led Neil to the checkout line. As they loaded everything onto the conveyor belt, Neil once more took stock of everything Andrew had picked out and he couldn’t help but wonder just how much experience Andrew actually had with kids. He found himself looking forward to seeing how Andrew would act around Natalie and if it would be any different from how Andrew reacted to everything else.

All too soon the week was over, and Neil and Andrew were boarding a plane to Baltimore. For the first time Neil’s nerves matched Andrew’s during the flight. He tried distracting himself by running through every possible scenario about how meeting Natalie would go but it nothing to ease his worries. He couldn’t help but wonder if she was going to recognize their father in him and he could feel his breathing pick up at the thought of it. He didn’t even know how much exposure she had had to their father or even if she had been old enough to remember him, but the thought still grated on Neil’s brain. At one point during the flight Andrew rested a heavy hand against Neil’s thigh and even at 36,000 feet, the weight and heat from it helped Neil stay grounded.

After they landed, Neil blindly followed Andrew off the plane and to the car rental place. The drive to the DCFS office seemed like a blur and if questioned, Neil wouldn’t be able to recall anything that the agent on hand spoke to them about. Andrew must have answered their questions well enough as they were eventually led to a small room with a few chairs and a box of toys and books in one corner. The man who led them there told them to wait as Natalie would be there soon and quickly left and closed the door behind him.

Neil sat in one of the chairs and focused on a poster on the wall, although he didn’t see it. Andrew stood beside him and rubbed the back of Neil’s neck as they waited. About fifteen minutes later there was a knock on the door and Neil stood up as it opened. An older woman, presumably another DCFS worker, came in and gave them a tense smile. She looked behind her and held her hand out. “Come on,” she said although she remained by herself in the doorway. She shot an apologetic look back towards and Andrew and Neil with a small spoken ‘Sorry” as she disappeared from the doorway.

Neil glanced at Andrew, but Andrew’s gaze remained on the doorway. A moment later the woman was back, and she was practically dragging a very unhappy looking, very tiny red headed girl behind her. As soon as they were in the room the woman closed the door with her foot and the little girl ripped her hand away from the woman and sent her an icy glare. The woman didn’t seem surprised and without acknowledging the little girl’s defiance, she turned her attention to Andrew and Neil.

“Hello gentlemen, I’m Mrs. Moore. I’m Natalie’s case worker.” She held her hand out to Andrew since he was closer to her but when he didn’t make a move to shake it Neil stepped in and did it instead. When Neil stepped forward Natalie’s attention was drawn from her case worker to Neil and as soon as her eyes fell on him there was no doubt in Neil’s mind that she saw their father.

The glare that she’d been giving the case worker was erased from her face instantly, replaced by what Neil knew was pure fear. Her tiny frame went rigid with tension and her light blue eyes frantically scanned the room, looking for an escape, or at least Neil presumed that what she was doing. She glanced at the door, then at her case worker but her frown only deepened. She looked to Andrew next and studied him for a moment before she moved to stand off to his left and slightly behind him, effectively using Andrew as a barrier to block her view from Neil.

Andrew noticed her intention and turned his body a bit to block her even more. Andrew met the troubled look Neil was giving him and gave a small shake of his head. With a jut of his chin Andrew gestured toward the case worker reminding Neil where his attention needed to be right now. Neil had to force his gaze away and he shoved his hands deep into his pockets to hide their shaking.  The case worker, Mrs. Moore, had continued talking, oblivious to Natalie’s panic and Neil’s distraction. Neil nodded his head in response to her words, not knowing or caring what she was actually saying.

“Okay,” Mrs. Moore said and clapped her hands together. “We’ll get to the last of the paperwork here in just a minute, but we should get the three of you introduced first. Natalie, honey, come say hello to your brother Neil and his… his friend Andrew.”

Neil couldn’t see Natalie but based on the case worker’s reaction Neil guessed that she had shook her head _no_. The smile didn’t leave Mrs. Moore’s face but Neil noted the taught set of her lips and the pinched lines around her eyes. She stepped towards Natalie, her arm outstretched to presumably pull Natalie forward again. Andrew put a hand up to stop her before she could reach her.

“She’s fine,” he said causing the case worker to straighten up and frown at him in response.

“She should come say hello. It will help her feel more comfortable and let her get to know your names and whatnot,” Mrs. Moore argued, the fake smile now gone from her face. Andrew turned to look down at Natalie.

“Do you know our names?” he asked her, and Neil stepped forward in time to see Natalie nod her head in affirmation. Andrew turned back to face Mrs. Moore. “There. See? She’s fine. Now let’s get to the paperwork before you cause us to miss our flight.”

Mrs. Moore frowned openly at Andrew, not even attempting to hide her displeasure. She turned to look at Neil, probably hoping for some help but Neil just stared silently back at her, waiting her out. Neil thought that maybe they should have asked Betsy to come with them today so she could have handled this part for them but as always, hindsight was a bitch.

“Fine,” the caseworker finally acquiesced with a heavy sigh. “Let’s go to my office then so I can get some signatures and get you on your way. Wouldn’t want to chance you _boys_ having to stay here any longer than necessary.”

The passive aggressiveness was clear in her voice but neither Andrew or Neil honored her with a response. She started away, heading back through the door she and Natalie had come through, and left the door open assuming the trio would follow after her. Neil didn’t move, waiting on Andrew and Natalie to go first. Andrew didn’t move either though and when Neil looked to him Andrew gestured at the door with a wave of his hand, prompting Neil to lead the way.

Neil started forward and Andrew and Natalie followed behind him. Neil realized that Andrew had him go first so that Natalie wouldn’t have to have him at her back and that realization sat heavy in Neil’s chest. He trailed behind Mrs. Moore and followed her when she turned into a room that was clearly her office. There was a large desk with several chairs and Neil slumped into the chair closest to the door.   Andrew and Natalie filed in after them but instead of taking the remaining chairs Andrew stood off to the side of the desk with Natalie at his side. 

Mrs. Moore obviously not impressed with Neil or Andrew and more than likely wanting to be done with them as soon as possible, moved them through the paperwork as quickly and efficiently as possible. They provided their signatures where they were needed but otherwise kept quiet. Natalie shifted uneasily at Andrew’s side and Neil didn’t miss how frequently she shot nervous glances Neil’s way.

All too soon, or maybe not soon enough, they were finished and Mrs. Moore was standing up and letting them know they were good to go and that they would need to contact the South Carolina DCFS as soon as they landed. Neil stood up as well, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. Mrs. Moore handed him a large folder filled with information and tips for new foster parents and nodded at him as he turned to leave.

“Where do we pick up her things?” Andrew asked before Neil could make it through the door.

“Oh. Right. About that,” Mrs. Moore said, looking slightly guilty. “The woman that Natalie was staying with, the friend of her grandmother, ended up selling everything that was in the grandmother’s trailer, including all of Natalie’s stuff. She said that was her payment for keeping Natalie the extra week.”

“Is that even legal?” Neil asked, speaking for the first time since meeting his sister.

“It is, unfortunately. Natalie’s grandmother left everything in her estate to her friend and that technically included all of Natalie’s things as well. She does have a backpack filled with some of her clothes and her drawing stuff but other than that she’s going to need all new things. That’s not going to be a problem is it?”

Neil glanced at Natalie to see that she did in fact have a small backpack on her back and he couldn’t help but think of the duffel bag that used to house everything he owned. Mrs. Moore was looking at Neil for the answer to her question, but he couldn’t swallow down the lump in his throat fast enough to be able to respond. Thankfully, Andrew did it for him.

“We’ll be fine,” he said with a flick of his wrist, dismissing her concern as inconsequential. “We’ll get Natalie everything she needs.”

Mrs. Moore nodded and led them to the front of the building. Neil knew it was probably protocol for the case workers to do this, but he still felt as if they were being ushered out. She said some form of farewell to them, but Neil ignored her and Andrew gave a wave of his hand, leaving it to Mrs. Moore to interpret it however she wanted. Natalie remained as silent as Neil and stayed close to Andrew’s side.

 Neil led the way to their rental car, making sure to stay slightly ahead of Andrew and Natalie. When they reached the car, Andrew popped the trunk and let Natalie know she could put her backpack in there if she wanted. She looked unhappy about it but took it off her back and placed it in the truck anyway. Neil noticed the way her hand lingered on it before she finally let her arm drop back to her side. Andrew closed the trunk and kneeled so that he was face to face with Natalie.

“Hey,” he said and waited until she met his gaze and then continued. “You’re safe. I’m here to keep you safe and so is your brother. Neil is your brother, he is _not_ your father, and he won’t let anything bad happen to you and neither will I. Anything you need, just ask, okay?”

Natalie swallowed and then nodded her head. Andrew, appeased, stood back up and went and opened the back door for so she could get in the car. Natalie climbed in without a word and strapped herself in while Andrew closed the door and climbed into the driver’s seat.  Neil walked to the driver’s side as well and Andrew opened the door when he saw Neil standing there. Neil leaned in and pressed the button that would pop the trunk and went and grabbed Natalie’s backpack out it before he took his seat on the front passenger side. Andrew closed his own door as Neil got in and turned the car on and pulled out of their parking spot.

Neil turned around and held the backpack out to his sister. She stared at it for several long moments, making sure not to look at Neil, but finally she took it from his hand.  Neil watched as she tucked it to her chest and wrapped her arms possessively around it. Familiarity stabbed through his chest as he knew all to well what it felt like to have all of your worldly possessions confined to one bag. He felt like maybe he should say something, but words escaped him, so he turned around and stared out of his window instead. Andrew turned on the radio and the ride to airport was otherwise silent.

At the airport, they returned the car and after they were checked in and through security, Andrew took Natalie to get something to eat while Neil stayed with their bags at the gate. Neil watched as Andrew and Natalie stood in line together at the nearby fast food place and he was surprised to see that they talked to each other the entire time. When they came back to sit with Neil, Natalie remained silent.

As they boarded the plane, Andrew let Natalie go first so she could have the window seat and he took the middle seat next to her, leaving the aisle seat for Neil. Once they were seated, Andrew held out his hand to Neil and he gratefully took it. They were half way home when it struck Neil that he had yet to hear his sister speak and hated that his presence was what was causing her silence. Memories of his own silent childhood and heavy hands plagued him the rest of the trip home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I go any father into this story I just want to put some notes here real quick for those that are interested. So this story will have a happy ending and hopefully some wholesome, cute parts too but I just want to let you guys know I'm also planning on addressing some ways that I think that Neil and Andrew would both be kinda terrible at parenting at first, Neil in the form of his own shitty childhood coming up and his anger and Andrew with his apathy (because even though Andrew appears neutral all the time to the point where people assumed he was a psychopath devoid of feelings, we all know thats not true because he obviously has very strong feeling about those he cares about BUT it also takes A LOT for those feelings to develop and he is actually apathetic with most things still) so in the case of Natalie I feel that while Andrew would be great with kids and tuned to their needs but he realizes that they're only fostering Natalie and there is a very good chance this might all go wrong and they'll need Betsy to help find her a family to adopt her, so he's going to try keep up that wall that would keep himself from becoming attached to her. Anyway just wanted to put that here because I don't know how to put that in the tags lol


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Sorry for the ridiculously large gap since my last update. I had a surgery back in August and it seemed like one thing after another kept happening and I just fell out of the routine of writing =/  
> This chapter was also really hard to write for some reason and it didn't end up being what I had originally planned tbh. It was supposed to span the first few weeks of Natalie's arrival but it ended up being 4000+ words of just the first evening of her arrival in South Carolina lol  
> I feel like it ended up being kind of drawn out and super angsty, so sorry about that! hopefully I can make it up to you guys with faster updates ;)  
> Anyways, hope y'all enjoy!

As Andrew pulled into the driveway of Dobson’s home, or _their_ home now, Neil supposed, Neil was less than thrilled at the prospect of getting out and taking Natalie inside to meet Betsy. Andrew didn’t seem to have any of the same qualms as he was out of the car almost as immediately once he had parked. He opened the back door for Natalie and she scrambled out without hesitation. Neil remained seated, taking in a deep breath of what felt like the last of his freedom. It tasted bitter in his mouth and he desperately longed for the taste of a cigarette to replace it.

A sharp rap on the roof of the car pulled Neil from his melancholy thoughts and he steeled himself as he opened his door and trailed behind Andrew and Natalie to the front door. Betsy had obviously seen them pull up as she had the front door opened before they even reached the top of the short flight of stairs. She was wearing her best and brightest smile. Her ‘ _clinical smile_ ’, Neil thought, and it grated against his nerves even more than usual.

“Hello,” Betsy greeted them, smiling at both Neil and Andrew before focusing her full attention on Natalie. “You must be Natalie. I’m so glad to finally meet you.”

Natalie returned her greeting with a small wave and tucked herself closer to Andrew’s side again. ‘ _At least I’m not the only one that makes her nervous’_ , Neil couldn’t help but think. Betsy, for her part, didn’t seem fazed or surprised and continued talking to Natalie much like she had with Neil the first time she met him.

“My name is Betsy but you can call me whatever you like. I answer to anything from Bee to Betsy to Hey You. Is there any special name you’d like us to call you?” Betsy asked, smile still on her face. Natalie gazed up at her in silence but offered a small shrug of her shoulders in response. “That’s okay, we can always figure that out later,” Betsy assured her. “Is it okay if I call you Natalie for now?”

Natalie nodded her head and Betsy smiled at her in approval. Betsy led them all into the house, taking Natalie on what, at least to Neil, seemed like unnecessarily drawn out tour of the main level. She rambled off the classic bullshit that Neil was expecting her to; _‘this is your house too’, ‘I hope you’ll feel comfortable here’, ‘don’t hesitate to ask for anything’, ‘blah, blah, blah’_.

Neil tuned her out. Focusing on his own thoughts while he tried to quell the shaking in his hands. He couldn’t help his continued glances towards the front door or the fact that he had counted every window that was big enough for him to crawl through at least three times now. He tried to chalk it up as just an old habit, but truth was he had stopped mapping out exit routes almost a year ago. He felt trapped and he knew it.

Andrew, of course, noticed. He said nothing but several times throughout Betsy’s tour he placed a heavy, warm hand against the back of Neil’s neck or stood close enough so that his shoulder was pressed tight against Neil’s. It wasn’t much but it kept Neil grounded and each time would bring his attention back where it needed to be.

At one such point during the tour of the living room, Betsy stopped to point out her irritatingly organized glass figurines that were displayed on the bookshelves that lined the walls.  She of course went off on an over exaggerated tangent about them being special to her but how Natalie was welcome to look at them, but that Natalie should ask for hep if she wanted to touch or play with any of them because they were glass, blah, blah.

Even with Andrew still pressed against his side, Neil tore his gaze away, barely containing his eyeroll, deciding it was probably better for him to not be a part of this conversation. By the time Betsy moved on to the next part of the house Neil had decided that two of the windows he had ruled out as too small or too high for him to be able to fit through would probably work if he was desperate enough.

Once she finished the upper level of the house, Betsy led them down the stairs to Andrew and Neil’s… rooms? Dorm? Apartment? Space? … Neil still wasn’t sure what to call to call it. He pushed the thought aside to figure out later as Betsy was saying that she’d let Andrew and Neil handle this part of the tour. Neil had no intention of taking over and Andrew must have known as he stepped forward and cleared his throat. Neil focused in on Andrew, much more interested to see how Andrew would handle this than figuring out what to call their shitty basement.

“Couch. Tv. Phone. Bathroom,” Andrew began, pointing to everything as he said it. “Mine and your brother’s room. Your room.”

It was so short and non-descriptive that Neil was sure that Betsy would step in, but he was surprised when she remained silent, smiling fondly at Andrew instead.

“You can go anywhere down here and use anything you want,” Andrew continued as he walked toward his and Neil’s bedroom door. “but if mine and Neil’s door is closed make sure you always knock and at night, even if our door is open, make sure you still knock and call one of our names, okay?”

Andrew waited for Natalie’s nod of understanding before he moved on to her bedroom door.

“Same thing goes for your door. If you want to be alone just close your door. Even if it’s open we’ll never come in without knocking first, okay?”

Neil wondered if that was a normal thing to say to a kid or if kids were supposed to have privacy like that. Privacy was certainly not something Neil had been afforded before or after he had left his father’s house, but his childhood had certainly not been normal by _any_ standards. Neil wondered how many times Andrew’s privacy had been invaded and then pushed that thought aside as well and decided he’d rather not know.

Neil glanced at Betsy again to see if he could read her thoughts on the matter, but she was still looking on with that same approving smile. Andrew led Natalie into her bedroom while Neil and Betsy hung back outside of her door.

“Bed. Dresser. Closet. Desk,” Andrew said, pointing out everything same as he had done before. “We bought you some things, but we’ll go shopping again whenever you’re ready to get whatever else you’ll need.”

Natalie nodded without prompting this time as she gazed around her new room with wide eyes, her backpack still clutched tightly to her chest. Betsy leaned a bit into the room and after a quick glance at Andrew she spoke up again.

“Natalie,” Betsy said, drawing Natalie’s gaze to her, “We’re going to order some pizza for dinner, would you like some time to put your things away and maybe rest a bit?”

Natalie gave another of her customary nods.

“Great,” Betsy replied with a smile and asmall clap of her hands. “Is there anything special you’d like on the pizza?”

At Natalie’s silent shake of her head Betsy signaled Andrew out of her room with a wave of her hand and let Natalie know that they would come get her when the pizza arrived. Betsy closed the bedroom door part way, leaving it just slightly ajar. She started back up the stairs and gestured with a tilt of her head for the boys to follow her, which they of course did. When they reached the kitchen, Betsy turned to face them and leaned against the counter.

“Well, your little sister has finally arrived Neil!” Betsy began with her usually propensity for stating that obvious. Neil was absolutely sure he would have a headache by the end of the day due solely to the effort it was taking him not to constantly roll his eyes.

“She certainly is quiet but I’m sure you two know that that’s a normal reaction in situations like this. She just needs sometime to become comfortable with us and her new surroundings.”

Neither Andrew or Neil gave her any response to that but by now Betsy knew well enough not to expect one.

“How did it go in Baltimore?”

“Worthless social workers are apparently a universal constant,” Andrew answered, and Neil was only slightly surprised when Betsy nodded in agreement. Andrew continued, “The piece of shit that Natalie was living with after her grandma died apparently sold all of Natalie’s stuff as ‘ _payment_ ’. She only has whatever’s in her backpack now, I guess.”

“Oh dear. That’s … unfortunate. I’m so glad you two were so thorough when you went shopping for her. We’ll definitely have to do that shopping trip you mentioned _soon_ , Andrew.”

Andrew had crossed his arms when they came into the kitchen, but he gave flick of his fingers to show his agreement.

“Neil, how are you doing? I know how hard this all must be for you,” Betsy asked, turning her attention to Neil much to his dismay.

“I’m fine,” he blurted out without thinking, hating the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. He was sure they would prompt some psychoanalysis bullshit questions from Betsy but he was proved wrong again when she just nodded and instead asked him what he’d like on his pizza.

“Uh. Whatever’s fine. Cheese or sausage or… whatever.”

“Sounds good. Andrew do you want your regular?”

Betsy accepted Andrew’s flick of his fingers as another acceptable response and let the two of them know that after she ordered the pizza, she’d wait in the downstairs living room in case Natalie needed anything. She asked if they would get the door when the delivery person arrived and Andrew let her know that they would go pick it up instead.

After Betsy headed back downstairs, Andrew grabbed his keys and his and Neil’s jackets and headed out the front door with Neil following close behind. Instead of going straight to his car Andrew sat down on the top step and pulled his jacket on.

“We’ve got a few minutes before we need to leave,” he said to Neil, holding out his jacket to him. Neil took it from his hand and shrugged it on before he took the spot at Andrew’s side. Andrew pulled out his pack of cigarettes and lit one up before putting the pack back in his pocket. He lit it up, taking a long drag and rested his arm on his knee, letting the cigarette hang from his fingers between him and Neil.

Neil was grateful Andrew didn’t offer him one. He didn’t want to the weight of a cigarette in his hand at the moment. Instead he pressed the palms of both hands into the concrete of the porch as hard as he could and let the sting keep him grounded as he sucked in deep breathes of the cool air and smoke that wafted around him. He let himself focus on the heat of Andrew next to him and the sound of his steady breathing.  

Too soon the cigarette burned out, Andrew only taking a few puffs from it to keep it lit, and the two men stood up and headed to the car. Despite the cool temps this time of year, Andrew rolled Neil’s window down and Neil rested his head back and let himself enjoy the feeling of the wind on his face the entirety of the drive to the pizza place.

Andrew hopped out as soon as he got the car parked, not even hesitating to see whether Neil was coming or not. For some reason Neil expected him to tell him to ‘ _get out or stay here’_ , much the same as he had years ago when Neil had had his near mental break down and had accompanied Andrew and Kevin to pick up the new Maserati. 

But Andrew didn’t need to say those words anymore. It didn’t matter how bad things got or how much Neil might freak out, there was only one place Neil called home, one place he would run to, and Andrew knew it. The thought steadied Neil in a way that nothing else could.

Andrew came back a few minutes later with the pizzas in hand. Neil opened his door to take them and Andrew wordlessly deposited them on to his lap. They rode back in comfortable silence and Neil felt like he could breathe just a little bit easier.

When they got back to Betsy’s house Andrew went downstairs to get her and Natalie. Neil figured that getting some plates and bottles of water for everyone would be a normal thing to do so he busied himself with that as he waited.

Andrew came back into the kitchen a few steps ahead of Betsy and Natalie and he went right to the table and took his seat. Natalie, who came in behind Betsy, didn’t hesitate in taking one of the empty chairs next to Andrew. Betsy smiled as Natalie scooted her chair closer to Andrew and Betsy took the empty seat on the other side of her. Neil took the only remaining empty seat on Andrew’s other side. Although he was tempted, he didn’t think Betsy would smile if he scooted his chair closer to Andrew too.

Dinner was about as awful as Neil had been expecting and Neil suspected the only reason he was able to make it through it was because of the earlier drive to the pizza parlor. Natalie was still unfaltering in her devotion of being quiet despite Betsy’s attempts to pull her into a conversation. Once Betsy realized that was a useless avenue, she turned her attention to Andrew and Neil instead. Asking mundane questions about how picking up the pizza had gone. Thankfully, once her mouth was occupied with food Betsy’s attempts at conversation slowed considerably.

They all began by eating some of the salad and breadsticks that Betsy had ordered in addition to the pizzas. Andrew finished his before everyone else, only eating the tomatoes and cucumbers from his salad before he was done. He grabbed for the boxes of pizza, flipping open one with pepperoni before finding the one Betsy had ordered specially for him – pineapple, banana peppers, and extra jalapenos.

Andrew grabbed two pieces, dropping them on to his plate, and began his usual ritual of what Neil had come to think of as _dissecting_ his food. Natalie watched him with rapt attention as he pulled the jalapenos, pineapple and banana peppers off of his pizza before shredding the remaining crust and cheese into smaller pieces as well. He popped a few pieces into his mouth, combining the shredded pieces of pizza in varying combinations- _pineapple, pepper, crust- jalapeno, pineapple, crust- three jalapenos and one pineapple piece- banana pepper, crust._

Several bites in, Andrew noticed Natalie’s continued interest in what he was eating and grabbed the pizza box and held it open for her in invitation to try a slice. She looked unsure but still took a slice from the box. The three adults at the table watched as she took a tentative bite and slowly chewed as she tested it’s flavor.

“Blaarrrggg!!” Natalie grimaced in horrified shock as she spat the pizza back onto her plate. “That’s sooo gross! How can you even eat that?!”

Natalie grabbed a napkin and vigorously wiped at her tongue as Betsy chuckled at her outburst of disgust. Andrew got up from the table and grabbed a glass from the cabinet and went straight to fridge. When he came back to the table, he handed the glass, of what Neil could now see was chocolate milk, to Natalie and she chugged it down with desperate speed.

“It’s an acquired taste,” Andrew said, although Neil wasn’t sure a seven-year-old would even know what that meant.

“Indeed,” Betsy agreed, still chuckling just a bit. “I must say though, you are much braver than me Natalie! I don’t think I would try one of Andrew’s pizzas, even if someone paid me!”

Natalie frowned in Betsy’s direction, making it quite clear she wasn’t feeling brave about trying the pizza. Betsy gave her a warm smile in response and offered her a slice of pepperoni or cheese pizza instead. She took a slice of each and everyone settled back into finishing dinner.

It seemed like the pizza debacle had lightened the mood just a bit- in Natalie’s case at least. She even answered some of Betsy’s generic questions. ‘ _Favorite food?’- ‘pancakes’, ‘Hobbies?’- ‘drawing’, ‘Movies?’- ‘Mulan and Rapunzel’…_

Neil missed most of what was said as he was more caught up in the thoughts in his own head. When Natalie had spat the pizza out he had tensed up instantly. He simultaneously panicked over how he should react (he only knew how it would have been handled in the house he grew up in), while also trying to observe the way both Andrew and Betsy reacted to it.

Most importantly he realized that this was the first time he had heard his sister speak and he supposed that maybe that should have stirred up some kind of feelings within him. What kind of feelings he wasn’t quite sure, but he was sure he should feel _something_ aside from the hollow pit of panic that rested heavy in his gut.

Neil tried to focus on controlling his breathing while everyone else at the table moved on like nothing had happened. Everything felt wrong and heavy. He tried to brush away the feeling of a phantom grip on his arms. He tried to dwell up brotherly feelings for Natalie. He tried to come up with how he would have reacted if it had been just him and Natalie at the table when she spit the pizza out but when he envisioned it, it wasn’t himself he saw at the table, but his father in his place.

Neil pushed away from the table, toppling his chair as he stood up. Natalie flinched and Neil felt it like a blow to his chest. He stood frozen in place, unable to breath, let alone act. Betsy stared at him silently, Natalie stared decidedly at the floor. Andrew was the only one who moved. He bent over and calmly righted Neil’s chair before turning his gaze up to him.

“Is it time for your run?” he asked calmly and quietly.

Neil stared back at him for several long moments before he realized what Andrew was doing.

“Uh, yeah,” he said, taking the out Andrew was offering him. “I didn’t realize it had gotten so late. Sorry about the chair.”

Neil backed out of the kitchen. He knew he should probably say something else or at the very least help clean up but he needed distance _right now_ and Andrew had offered it to him. He slipped his sneakers on by the front door, not even bothering to grab a jacket or hoodie, and slipped out into the cool night air.

He didn’t stop to take a breath or to think over what had happened. He started running as soon as the door was closed behind him and didn’t stop until sheer exhaustion had replaced the anxiety in his chest, until all that was left in his head was the sound of his own ragged breathing and the only sensation left on his skin was his own sweat dripping down it. He slowed to a jog and then finally a walk and turned around to slowly make his way back to Andrew, to home.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been gone but from the activity, or lack thereof, on the street he could tell that it had grown late.  He unlocked the door of the basement entrance and crept inside. It was dark, as Neil guessed it would be considering the time, and he crept quietly towards his and Andrew’s shared bedroom. He was relieved to see that Natalie’s door was soundly closed as he passed by it.

He wasn’t surprised to see that Andrew was still awake, sitting up in bed reading through one of his school textbooks, a half-filled glass of whiskey on the nightstand next to him. He flipped the book closed as Neil came in and Andrew focused his full attention on him.

“I didn’t expect you back so soon,” Andrew said quietly, keeping his voice low, Neil assumed, because of Natalie sleeping in the adjacent room.

Neil sat down on the edge of the bed and scrubbed his hands over his face as he let out a strange sound that was almost a laugh and bordered on hysteric.

“Guess I’m just full of surprises,” he said dully, feeling the exhaustion seep into every inch of his mind and body.

Andrew crawled across the bed and sat next to Neil. “Stop it,” he said.

“It’s not that simple,” Neil retorted, turn to glare his irritation at Andrew.

“Yes, it is,” Andrew shot back, expressionless. “We agreed to take her in Neil, so you’re just going to have to get over whatever personal bullshit you’re going through right now.”

Neil felt the sharp prick of his irritation turning into anger and stood up from the bed and began to pace.

“It’s not that simple,” he said again, his voice still low despite his anger. “You saw how she acts around me. She’s terrified of me.”

“She’s seven, with a dead grandmother, no belongings and in a new home, in a new state with three strangers. She’s terrified of everything right now.”

“No,” Neil said shaking his head. “No. Not of you. Not of Dobson. Just me. She sees _him_ when she looks at me.”

“Then give her a reason to see something else when she looks at you.”

Andrew said the words so simply, so easily, but they knocked the breath from Neil’s lungs. He felt the anger drain out of him and sat back on the bed next to Andrew.

“I,” he started to say and then stopped, trying to get his thoughts together. Neil hung his head, not meeting Andrew’s eyes. “I… I don’t feel anything when I look at her.”

“So?”

“So?” Neil said looking up to met Andrew’s eyes. He could feel the rawness in his own voice, “So, that’s not normal. She’s my sister, shouldn’t I feel something for her? Be happy that she’s here? Be protective? Fuck, I don’t know. Just something?”

“She’s been here less than day, Neil. This isn’t some after school special where everyone is bursting with emotions and happy endings.”

Neil flopped back onto the bed and ground his palms into his eyes.

“Did you feel anything for Aaron before you got to meet him?” he asked after a few minutes of contemplative silence.

“Yes. Until I actually met him anyways.”

Neil knew that was _far_ from the truth and he couldn’t help but grin at the pure obnoxiousness of Andrew’s answer. He leaned up on his elbows and stared at Andrew who had turned slightly on the bed to face him.

“What if I never feel anything for her?” Neil asked, his voice almost a whisper.

“Then you don’t, and we still do what we promised and give her good home and keep her safe and out of foster care until Bee finds her a home with people who _can_ love her.”

Neil swallowed down Andrew’s words for what they were. In typical Andrew fashion they hadn’t been sugar coated or watered to down to be something that Neil might _want_ to hear. They had just been the truth. Plain, simple, brutally honest and exactly what Neil had _needed_ to hear. As always Neil could count on Andrew not break against his rough edges but instead meet them with those of his own. It was still one of the things Neil liked best about him.

The two men sat together in silence for a few minutes, Neil not having an answer to give but also knowing that Andrew didn’t expect one either.

“Go take a shower before you fall asleep,” Andrew said when Neil finally broke the silence with a yawn. “You Stink.”

Neil grinned as he watched Andrew crawl back to his side of the bed. Ever obliging, he stood up and stretched before grabbing a change of clothes from their dresser.

“Are you going to wait up for me?” he asked.

“Don’t I always?”

Neil didn’t answer but grinned to himself again as he left their room to go shower. He turned the water as hot as he could tolerate and stepped under the spray. It had been a roller-coaster of a day, to say the least, and Neil let the hot water soothe away his physical aches and as well as his mental ones.

Talking to Andrew had helped, but Neil still felt raw. This morning, although nervous and worried, he had thought he had been ready to face whatever the day would hold but as it oftentimes is, reality had ended up being worse than anything he could have imagined. Having his sister react to him the way she did had torn something open in Neil that he didn’t feel ready to face.

Andrew’s words, _‘Then give her a reason to see something else when she looks at you’,_ kept echoing in his head but Neil didn’t know how to do that when his sister wouldn’t even look at him.

But Andrew was right, he had a promise to keep. With a determined sigh, Neil cut the water off and stepped from the shower to get ready for bed. As he walked back to his room Neil stared at Natalie’s door, still shut tight, and he made a silent promise to himself to try harder tomorrow, to give Natalie a reason to not to see their father when she looked at him.

As Neil crawled into bed next to Andrew, he didn’t realize that he needed to allow himself to see something different as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Next chapter the Foxes finally will get to meet Natalie !

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Find me on tumblr @ [andrewminyardamiright](https://andrewminyardamiright.tumblr.com/)


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